


Who I Used To Be

by Dynamicoverride



Series: The Beginning of After [2]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Anal Sex, Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, F/M, Guilt, Harems, Kidnapping, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Rape, Rape/Non-con Elements, Rough Sex, Sexual Violence, Survivor Guilt, Vaginal Sex, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-21
Updated: 2019-04-25
Packaged: 2019-11-26 16:10:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 6
Words: 20,493
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18182807
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dynamicoverride/pseuds/Dynamicoverride
Summary: *Takes place 4 months after Lost and Found*During a battle with Lotor, Trianna learns something horrifying from him about her past. Lotor promises that he will be back for her and retreats from the battle. Fearing that this could ruin her relationship with Keith, maybe the best thing she can do is to leave.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I tried to make sure I had all the right tags for this. If anyone notices any that I missed, please let me know.

“Coran! What’s the status of the particle barrier!” Allura yells as she’s trying to get a clear shot on the Galra ships attacking the castle. She stumbles to the side when the castle is rocked by a particular heavy shot from the Galra battle cruiser leading them.

 

“Particle barrier is holding Princess! But I’m not sure for how long!.” Coran yells back. 

 

“We’re being hailed.” Trianna shouts from the communications console as she tries to keep her balance.

 

“Put them on screen.” Allura tells her.

 

The screen appears and is filled with Lotor’s face. “Ready to surrender the lions Princess?” 

 

“I’ll never surrender the lions to you!” Allura shouts at Lotor. 

 

“You can’t keep fighting like this forever Allura. There’s no way you can defeat the Galra Empire.” Lotor says cockily.

 

“We will defeat you Lotor. Voltron will defeat the Galra Empire!” Allura responds.

 

“You don’t stand a….” Lotor suddenly looks distracted. “Trianna? Darling, is that you? What are you doing there?” Lotor’s voice starts off curious and sounds angry by the last question. 

 

Trianna’s eyes widen in confusion when Lotor calls her by her name. She looks to Coran and Allura who look just as confused as she is. Trianna steps away from the console to stand next to Allura. “How do you know my name?” She asks Lotor.

 

Lotor smiles at her and chuckles. “You really don’t remember do you? What have those Paladins done to you darling? You belong to me, as part of my harem. You were accidentally left at a military base just over a year ago when I had to leave quickly.” His face grows irritated. “I had ordered a couple sentries to look after you and bring you back to me. But when the base was attacked, the cowards fled to save their own hides. I’ve been looking for you since them.”

 

“That can’t be right. You’re lying! Why would we believe you?” Allura angrily challenges Lotor’s declaration. 

 

“Because I’m right and I can prove it.” Lotor says smugly. “Trianna has been branded as a member of my harem. Darling, confirm for the Princess that you have a tattoo on your left inner thigh, a circle with 3 horizontal lines in it.” 

 

Allura and Coran look to Trianna as colour runs out of her face. Lotor described her tattoo perfectly, a tattoo that no one but Keith has seen. She never knew what it meant, and Keith had never seen anything like it. She never would have guessed that it was a branding mark. The fear that’s been building inside of her starts coming out and shows on her face. She starts shaking her head in disbelief. 

 

“How? No. This can’t be. I don’t….” Trianna starts mumbling to herself and trying not to break down. She takes a few steps back from where she’s standing. Suddenly her legs feel like they can’t support her anymore and she falls to her knees. 

 

Lotor watches her reaction and starts to laugh. “Judging by that reaction you know that I’m right. Trianna darling, sit tight, I’ll be back for you soon. I’ve missed you. It hasn’t been the same without you”

 

Lotor cuts the comm abruptly and within minutes, all the ships that have been attacking the castle and lions stop firing. They all start retreating back to the Galra cruiser. “What the quiznak?” Allura mumbles. “Paladins! Get back to the castle immediately and come to the bridge. We’re going to wormhole out of this area.” She calls to the Paladins. Voltron breaks apart into their separate Lions and they all rush back to the castle.

 

The moment that all the Lions are confirmed to be in the castle, Allura opens a wormhole and gets the castle out of that area before Lotor gets any other ideas. Coran starts running diagnostics on the castle to see how badly it was damaged. 

 

Trianna hasn’t moved from the floor and is still staring at where the comm screen was.  _ “He knew my name. He knew about my tattoo. Does this mean he telling the truth? Do I really belong to him? What’s going to happen to me now? Will the team hand me over to Lotor once they all know? What about Keith? I’m sure he’ll leave me. How can he still love me after finding out?” _ Questions and doubts fill Trianna’s head as Allura steps away from the navigation controls. She bends down next to Trianna and lightly touches her shoulder. Trianna looks up at Allura, her eyes still filled with fear and uncertainty. Allura holds her to try to relieve some of her anxiety. Trianna starts to quietly cry when the doors to the bridge slide open. The Paladins run onto the bridge led by Shiro. Keith immediately sees Trianna and rushes to her side and holds her. He whispers encouraging words to her to help her calm down.

 

“Allura, what happened? Why did they retreat so suddenly?” Shiro starts to question Allura almost immediately. 

 

Allura starts to open her mouth but is interrupted by Trianna. “It’s because of me. Lotor ordered them to retreat because of me.” She says as she lets go of Keith and stands.

 

“How is that even possible?” Shiro asks. “What happened?”

 

Trianna looks at Keith then at the Paladins, a combination of fear and tears stinging her eyes. She doesn’t want to say it out loud, it’s like if she does, it will make it true. “Lotor recognized me, he knew my name. I have a tattoo on my thigh that he was able to describe exactly.” She grips Keith’s hand as voice cracks. “I never knew what the tattoo meant, but it apparently means that Lotor owns me, that I’m part of his harem.” Trianna looks down so no one can see her cry.

 

Allura steps forward and addresses the Paladins. “Now that he knows she’s here, he said he’d be making plans to come back and get her. We can’t let that happen.” Allura says with urgency in her voice. “We need to come up with a plan to keep her safe and out of Lotor’s hands.”

 

“Paladins, let’s get to one of the briefing rooms where we can come up with some plans to keep Trianna safe. We don’t know when Lotor will strike again.” Shiro takes charge and wants to start the planning process ASAP. 

 

Keith tries to lead Trianna to the briefing room with them. She pulls away when he starts to walk. “I-I’m sorry. I can’t. I just want to be alone right now to process this.” She says, pulling away and leaving the bridge. 

 

He tries to go after her, but is stopped when Shiro puts a hand on his shoulder. “Just give her some time. She’ll be ok. It’s a lot for her to take in.”

 

“I’ll stay on the bridge and continue running diagnostics and monitoring the area while you’re all in the briefing room.” Coran tells everyone before turning back to the console he’s standing in front of. 

 

Allura and Shiro lead the Paladins out of the bridge and to the closest briefing room. Keith fights the urge find Trianna but he knows Shiro will stop him right now. The atmosphere in the briefing room is a mix of urgency and confusion about what just happened. 

 

“Allura, what exactly happened on the bridge during the battle?” Shiro asks, trying to get a feel for the situation.

 

Allura starts to explain what happened before the Paladins got to the bridge. “It’s like Trianna said. Lotor recognized her immediately and called her by name. I do not know the tattoo he’s talking about, but he described it as a circle with 3 lines inside of it.” 

 

She’s interrupted by Keith slamming his fist on the table. “Fuck. How can he be right about that? It’s on her inner thigh, only someone who’s seen her naked could know about it.” Hunk patted him on the back in an attempt to comfort him.

 

“Trianna looked horrified when Lotor described it. He explained that it’s proof that she belongs to him. And that she’s a part of his harem.” Allura continued.

 

“Then why was she alone in that abandoned base? Wouldn’t Lotor have kept her with him?” Lance asks. 

 

“He explained that actually. He said he had to leave the base quickly and left her in the care of some sentries to bring her to him. But the base was attacked and they fled without her. He’s been apparently been looking for her since then. That would explain the conditions that we found her in.” 

 

“We have to do something. We can’t just sit here and wait for Lotor to come back.” Keith insists. “She’s strong, but not strong enough to defend herself from Lotor and his generals.” 

 

“I know Keith.” Shiro says. “Ok team, let’s brainstorm some ideas on ways we can keep Trianna safe.”

 

They spend about an hour coming up with a few different plans to protect Trianna. The foundation of all of them is to not let her be alone. They decide that Keith will be with her most of the time, and anytime that he cannot, she will be with one of the other Paladins. If Voltron is needed, she will stay with Allura. If there’s any political meetings that require everyone to be present, Trianna will go with them. Once they’re happy with the plans they’ve come up with, they all decide to call it a night and head back to their rooms. Keith has been worried sick and not able to concentrate on any of the plans they were talking about. He rushes out of their room to find Trianna.

 

**************************************************

 

Trianna walks into her room and looks around at the life she’s made with Keith. “ _ What’s going to happen to me now? They probably don’t want me around knowing that Lotor will be coming back for me”. _ She lays on the bed, surrounded by Keith’s scent and cries into her pillow. She can’t believe this is happening. She knew her past had the possibility to be dark, but she never thought anything like this. It does explain why they found her at a Galra military base. She spends the next 45 minutes thinking about her situation and what she should do next. Her brain takes her thoughts into several different directions.

 

_ “What are they going to do with me? They could probably gain an advantage in this war if the hand me over to Lotor. Maybe he’d be willing to negotiate my return. It might be what they need to end the war sooner rather than later. It’s not like Keith would want anything to do with me anymore anyways. Why would he? I’m just a whore. Lotor’s whore. They’re not going to be safe as long as I’m here. I should just leave. I need to make sure Keith stays safe. I love him too much to put him in danger. But do I try to hide from Lotor or do I surrender to him to ensure the team’s safety?” _

 

In the end, she doesn’t know exactly what to do, but she decides that leaving is the best option. She doesn’t know how she’s going to get a shuttle out of the castle without anyone knowing, but she’ll worry about that later. Maybe she can get to the one Pidge put a cloaking device in. Wiping her eyes, she walks to the closet and pulls out a duffel bag. She starts by rummaging around the closet to pack some clothes. She finds a couple of things she wants to bring, but tries to make sure she doesn’t pack too heavy. She keeps digging around for any sort of valuables she owns that can be used for trade on the swap planet. 

 

Leaving the briefing room, Keith isn’t sure where Trianna is but he hopes it’s their room. He stands at the door not sure what to expect when he opens the door, he just hopes that Trianna is in there. He opens the door and is greeted by the sight of Trianna packing a duffel bag. She doesn’t notice him come into the room right away as she’s digging around in the closet. When she turns around to put more clothing in the bag, Keith can see that her face is flushed and her eyes are bloodshot and red from crying. Keith rushes to her and pulls the clothes out of her hands. He pulls her close to him and hugs her tightly. “What are you doing?”

 

“I’m leaving. I have to. It’s the only way that I can make sure you’re safe, to make sure everyone is safe.” Trianna tells him. “It’s not like anyone would want Lotor’s whore in the castle anyways.” She whispers the last part thinking that Keith won’t hear it. His hearing is better than she gives him credit for. 

 

Keith quickly pulls away just enough to look into her eyes. “You’re not going anywhere. You leaving is only going to make you an easier target for Lotor. And it’s not going to keep anyone here safer.” He caresses her cheek as he talks. “You are not Lotor’s whore. You are nobody’s whore. You’re Trianna. You are the love of my life and nothing is going to change that. We’re not going to let Lotor get anywhere near you. We have a plan to make sure that you’re not alone.”

 

“I’m not worth all that effort. You all have more important things to do than babysit me. And how long would you all have to do this? Weeks? Months? Years? I can’t do that to you. I can’t do that to the team.” She tries to pull away from Keith to pick up the clothes he threw on the bed. “We’re in the middle of a war Keith. For all we know, maybe handing me over to Lotor will give you an advantage. It’s possible that it could end this war sooner rather than later.”

 

Keith refuses to let her go and tightens his grip as she struggles. “You are worth the effort. Ask anyone in the castle, they’ll tell you the same thing. You’re a part of this team and we’ll do anything we can to protect you. For however long it takes.” He forcibly turns her so that she’s facing him. “There’s no way in hell we’d turn you over to Lotor. I’d rather fight this war for an extra 10 years if it means keeping you by my side. I’ll do anything I can to protect you. Please, Tianna, just trust me.”

 

Knowing she’s not going to win this argument, she stops struggling the moment Keith asks her to trust him. She can’t deny it, she trusts him more than anyone else. “Keith, you know that I trust you with my life.”

 

Keith holds her as tightly as he can. “The please stay. Let me protect you.”

 

Trianna is unable to hold back her tears anymore and starts crying on Keith’s shoulder. “I will. I’ll stay.” She whispers in return. 

 

After holding each other and crying for a few minutes, Keith lets her go and moves towards the bed. He picks up the bag that Trianna was packing and the clothes he threw there earlier. He moves them to the floor with the intention of unpacking and putting it away later. He leads Trianna to the bed with the intention of holding onto her forever. They both lay down and he holds her tightly to his chest. Trianna curls into Keith and listens to his heart beat. The steady beat of his heart and warmth from his body enough to help stop her anxiety. For that moment, they’re the only two in the world and all that matters is knowing that the other is there. Trianna is eventually able to calm down enough to stop crying and fall asleep. Once Keith is sure she’s asleep, he allows himself to relax enough to also fall asleep.

 

Keith wakes up first the next morning to find Trianna still holding onto him. The moment he moves, she wakes up and looks up at him. Her eyes are still red from all the crying yesterday. 

 

Keith brushes her hair out of her face and kisses her forehead. “Feeling a bit better?” 

 

“A little bit yeah.” Trianna cuddles deeper into Keith’s side. “I’m sorry about yesterday.”

 

“Don’t be. A lot happened, I understand why you reacted that way. Wanna head to breakfast?”

 

Trianna looks up at Keith. “I’d rather stay here with you but we should probably eat.”

 

They both slowly get out of bed and change their clothes. By the time they get to the kitchen, everyone else is already sitting at the table. They quietly take their seats as Hunk brings over their plates.

 

“Trianna, are you ok? We were worried about you yesterday.” Lance asks. 

 

Trianna can see the concern written all over his face. “I’m ok I guess. Yesterday was just a lot to take in.”

 

During breakfast, Shiro goes over the plans they made yesterday with Trianna. “We’re going to make sure that you’re never alone. You’ll always have a Paladin with you. If by chance we need Voltron, you’ll stay with Allura. If there’s any political meetings where we’re all required, you’ll be coming with us.”

 

“That’s all well and good. But how long will it be needed? Months? Years? You all can’t keep this up forever.” Trianna brings up. She’s determined to make sure the rest of the team knows how much of a burden this will be. “If someone needs to babysit me constantly, it could put the rest of you in danger. I’m scared I’m just going to be a burden and not worth the effort.”

 

The rest of the team starts speaking all at once to reassure her that she’s not going to be a burden.

 

“You’re not going to be a burden. There’s very little that needs to change to make this work. Remember, you’re a part of this team and we’ll do anything we can to protect one of our own.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A few months later and still no sign of Lotor or his generals. The coalition meetings on Vedetis have wrapped up early and the Paladins have a few hours to explore the town their in. Keith and Trianna go off on their own, unaware that they’re being watched.

A couple of months pass since the initial contact from Lotor and so far there’s been no appearances from Lotor or his generals. The team has succeeded in their plan of protecting Trianna and she hasn’t been alone for longer than a couple of minutes the whole time. Most of her time is spent with Keith and the other Paladins and Allura and Coran when necessary. On the odd occasion that everyone is required to be out of the castle, Allura has made special arrangements to make sure Trianna is welcome to be at any meetings, banquets or events that they must attend. When asked, Allura explains that for reasons related to the Galra Empire, Trianna cannot be left without the Paladins. No one has objected to this yet and some have even bumped up their security.

 

Their latest mission involves everyone in the castle going to Vedetis to meet with the planet’s leaders. Allura has scheduled two days worth of meetings with them to talk about joining the Voltron Coalition. The meetings wrap up successfully about midway into day two, so Allura allows the Paladins to explore the town and what it has to offer. 

 

Everyone splits up to visit whatever stores pique their interest. Keith stays with Trianna and they walk slowly around town and window shop. They duck into a couple stores to take a closer look but don’t buy anything. 

 

“I heard the forest that borders the town is beautiful. What do you say we ditch the stores and spend some time there?” Keith asks, wanting to spend some alone time with Trianna.

 

“That sounds wonderful.” For the first time in a while, Trianna actually looks excited.

 

They both make their way to the outskirts of town and both are impressed with how exquisite the area is. The border of the forest consists of large trees and bright coloured flowers. As they walk past the trees, the local wildlife comes right up to them. One animal that Keith was able to identify as a Citron Cat comes right up to Trianna and chirps happily before scurrying back into the forest.

 

“What do you say we rest here for a bit before heading back to town.” Trianna suggests.

 

“I think that’s the best idea either of us have had all day.” Keith pulls her towards the nearest tree for them to rest against.

 

They both sit and lean against the tree and enjoy the scenery around them. Trianna gets distracted by what looks to be a squirrel-like creature when Keith leans over and gently takes hold of her chin. Before Trianna is able to react, Keith tilts her face towards his and kisses her lightly. He manages to pull away slightly before Trianna wraps her arms around his neck and pulls him in. She starts by kissing him lightly but quickly deepens the kiss. Keith lets out a soft moan as Trianna pushes herself against him as their tongues find each other. Not content with the position they are in, Keith lifts Trianna by the waist and sets her on his lap. She quickly straddles him and starts kissing down his neck, leaving small marks as she goes. She bites a little harder when Keith grinds his hips up to meet hers. Trianna’s lips move from his neck back to Keith’s lips. Keith’s hands find their way up into Trianna’s shirt, causing her to moan softly as he cups her breasts. As Keith squeezes her breasts, causing a moan to escape Trianna’s lips. Feeling him grow harder under her, Trianna starts to grind against Keith. The pressure causes both of them to moan each other’s name. They don’t care that anyone could see them, all that matters to them is each other. 

 

They’re so wrapped up in each other and the moment, that neither of them notice that they are being watched. Trianna suddenly feels hands grip her arms tightly and fingernails digging into her skin. She’s pulled away from Keith roughly and held in place by 2 pairs of hands. Before he can react, a pair of large hands grab him by the neck and hold him against the tree. 

 

Trianna sees Zethrid holding Keith against the tree by his neck and realizes that it must be Acxa and Ezor holding onto her. She struggles against the hands holding her, trying to fight back. She thought all her training prepared her for this, but fighting against two people is too difficult for her. Keith tries to free himself from Zethrid but she’s able to dodge any punches or kicks he throws her way.

 

“Zethrid! Deal with him!” Acxa yells.

 

Trianna looks towards Zethrid, not wanting to know what Acxa was talking about. Keith is too busy struggling to see Zethrid pulls a black rod out of her belt. It produces a spark of electricity at the press of a button. With a smile on her face, Zethrid shoves the end of the rod into Keith’s side and presses the button. Keith feels a surge of electricity run through his body. He screams in pain and crashes to the ground. He fights to keep himself from blacking out as his vision starts to blur. The sounds of Zethrid laughing and Trianna screaming ring in his ears.

 

“No! Keith!” Trianna screams. She sees Keith scream in pain and fall to the ground. She struggles harder to try to get away from the hands holding her when she feels the grip on one of her arms start to slip. Trianna almost gets her arm free before the grip tightens and her arm is bent backwards at an awkward angle. Along with the pain, she can hear a pop from her shoulders. She screams and stops struggling for a moment from the sudden pain. 

 

Keith can hear the pop of her shoulders from where he lays on the ground. He tries to stand to get to her, but Zethrid kicks his legs out from under him and puts her foot on his back. Every inch of his body hurts and he’s barely conscious, but he keeps trying to crawl to Trianna.

 

With tears streaming down her face, she keeps trying to reach Keith. The more she fights, the more pain she feels but she refuses to give up. She sees Zethrid standing over Keith with her foot on his back, holding him in place. His face is paler than usual and he looks to be struggling to breathe.

 

“Stop! Please, just stop!” Trianna screams. “Leave him alone!”

 

Acxa kicks the backs of Trianna’s knees to force her to kneel. She’s then pushed to the ground face first and Ezor places her foot on Trianna’s back. As she’s held down, she can feel handcuffs clamp down on her wrists. She’s partially lifted so she’s on her knees again. Not caring what’s happening to her, she keeps fighting to reach Keith. She’s so focused that she doesn’t notice Zethrid walk up next to her. However, Keith does notice and sees Zethrid lift the butt of her gun in the air and aim for Trianna’s head. 

 

“Trianna! Look out!” Keith screams at Trianna to move but it’s too late. The butt of the gun makes contact with her temple and she crumples to the ground unconscious. Zethrid quickly picks up Trianna and tosses her over her shoulder and starts running into the woods. Ezor quickly follows while Acxa takes the opportunity to kick Keith in the ribs before running away. 

 

Keith struggles to stand and chase after them but is barely able to stand before falling to the ground in pain. “Fuck! I have to go after them.” He yells as he keeps fighting to stand. It takes maybe another minute before he hears footsteps running towards him. He can tell they’re coming from the direction of town, so he ignores them and keeps trying to stand. There’s only one thing on his mind and that’s getting Trianna back safe. He’s trying to use the tree to lift himself up when Hunk and Lance come running over just in time to see him fall again. 

 

“Keith! We heard screaming. What happened? Where’s Trianna?” Lance yells as Hunk grabs Keith’s arm and puts it around his shoulders and tries to lift Keith into a standing position.

 

“Lotor’s generals...they attacked us...they took Trianna.” Keith manages to get out as Hunk helps him try to stand. “They had some weapon that worked like a taser. I have to go after them.” He tries to get away from Hunk and falls to the ground in pain. 

 

“You’re not going anywhere but the castle.” Hunk says as he picks Keith up easily and throws him over his shoulder. Both he and Lance start running towards the castle. “We need to get to the castle and to our Lions to search for them. Lance, call the rest of the team and tell them to meet us at the castle ASAP.”

 

Lance calls the rest of the team through his communicator while they run to the castle. “No time to explain! Lotor’s generals took Trianna and Keith is hurt. Hunk and I are on the way to the castle with him. We need everyone to get back there now!” Lance cuts off the communication before anyone can ask any questions and calls Coran back at the castle. “Coran! Hunk and I are on the way to the castle with Keith. He needs medical attention, meet Hunk in the med bay!”

 

“Damnit Lance! I don’t need to go to the med bay. I just need to get to Red so I can find Trianna.” Keith struggles against Hunk as they get to the castle. 

 

“No. You need to get to the med bay to make sure you’re not hurt. Shiro and I will use our Lions to search and Pidge and Allura can scan from the castle.” Lance has an edge to his voice that neither Hunk nor Keith have ever heard before. Keith doesn’t dare talk back. “Hunk, make sure he cooperates with Coran.” Before either man can respond, Lance is running towards Blue’s hangar. Hunk runs towards the med bay still carrying a yelling Keith.

 

Lance is already frantically searching and scanning the area by the time Shiro joins him in Black. He confirms that Allura and Pidge are scanning as much as they can from the castle. After about 30 minutes, Red comes blasting out of the castle with Keith in the pilots seat. The other two Paladins and their Lions can sense the urgency from Keith and Red. 

 

“Keith, we’ve already searched and scanned the whole area. There’s nothing there.” Shiro tells Keith over the comms. 

 

Keith refuses to believe Shiro. “No! You’re wrong. You missed something. She’s here somewhere. She has to be.” 

 

Shiro and Lance flank Keith in their Lions and try to comfort him. They think they can hear him crying until Keith shuts off his comms. After another hour of scanning the area, Shiro and Lance try to convince Keith to come back to the castle. 

 

“Keith, come back to the castle. There’s nothing else left to scan out here.” Lance begs.

 

“There must be something we missed. I can’t go back now.” Keith yells back as Red charges away from the Black and Blue Lions. 

 

Shiro tries next. “Keith. You’re not thinking straight. Come back to the castle and we can figure out a plan to find Trianna.” 

 

“My thinking is fine! Maybe the sensors aren’t working. How do we know they’re working properly?” The more frantic he gets, the louder Red gets in his head. The Black and Blue Lions are trying to make her convince Keith to go back to the castle. She knows they’re right, but she isn’t sure she can convince him. 

 

Tired of Shiro and Lance trying to get him to go back to the castle, Keith shuts off his comms. Red can sense many emotions coming from Keith. Sadness, anger, frustration and guilt are the ones that stand out. She tries her best to soothe Keith and to convince him to head back to the castle. It takes about 20 minutes for her to convince him that they need to go back. 

 

Keith sighs, knowing that Red is right and is looking out for him. Not responding to Lance or Shiro, he turns around and head back to the castle. Lance and Shiro follow closely to make sure he doesn’t change his mind. Once they’ve all returned to the castle, Lance and Shiro both head to Red’s hangar to check up on Keith. 

 

Keith opens up a comm channel to Lance and Shiro. “I’m not leaving Red. But you have my word that I won’t leave the castle.” He closes the channel before they can respond.

 

Lance and Shiro share a worried look before leaving the hangar to talk to the rest of the team about Trianna being kidnapped.

 

Red can feel the pain that Keith is going through. She wishes she had been able to bond with Trianna so she could help find her. Red does her best to help Keith, but there’s only so much a sentient mechanical Lion can do. She purrs and tries to soothe Keith as best she can. She may not be able to physically nuzzle him, but she’s able to nuzzle his mind in a sense and try to put him at ease.

 

“It’s my fault Red. I should have been more alert. I should have been able to hear them coming. I should have been able to stop them.” Keith paces inside Red, looking for something to punch. He can hear her purring grow louder and knows that if she could, she would be nuzzling him right now. Keith got lucky with Red, she truly understands him and cares for him like he was her cub. He can feel her worry for Trianna too, but also her strength which helps Keith keep it together. Keith knows that they’ll find Trianna, it’s just a matter of when. He hopes it won’t be too late.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trianna is taken back to Lotor by his generals. She's greeted with open arms, until Lotor realizes that she won't be broken again so easily.   
> *TRIGGER WARNING - Rape, violence, drugged*

Lotor’s generals take Trianna to a waiting shuttle craft they have hidden outside of town. It’s small, but fast. They know that the Paladins will be on their tail soon, so every second counts. Trianna is thrown into the corner of the shuttle with Zethrid making sure she doesn’t wake up and cause any trouble. Ezor takes the controls with Acxa navigating and scanning the area to make sure they aren’t being followed. They make their way to a small Galra battle cruiser that’s waiting just outside of scanner range of the planet. When they dock, two sentries are waiting for them. Zethrid throws Trianna over her shoulder and leaves the shuttle. The three generals follow the two sentries to a hall of prison cells. The sentries open an empty cell and Trianna is thrown in, still bound and unconscious.

 

“Let’s go tell Lotor that the target is secure and the mission was a success.” Acxa says as she starts walking away.

 

Acxa, Ezor and Zethrid make their way through the ship and to a door that’s larger than the rest. Acxa knocks on the door and waits for a response before entering. They walk in to see Lotor sitting at a desk anticipating the results of the mission.

 

“The mission was a success sir. Trianna is on the ship and is currently in one of the prison cells.” Acxa tells Lotor.

 

“Perfect. She wasn’t too hurt was she?” Lotor asks. “If I have to break her, I’d rather do it when she’s healthy.”

 

“She’s unconscious and it’s possible her shoulders were popped out of socket.” Ezor replies.

 

“Was she alone or with the Paladins?”

 

“Only the Red Paladin was present sir.” Zethrid says. “He was alive when we left, but barely able to move.”

 

“Good. Dismissed.”

 

Acxa, Ezor and Zethrid leave the room for some much needed rest.

 

Trianna slowly starts to regain consciousness. Her head is pounding and she’s not sure if it’s bleeding or not. Her shoulder is still aching, she’s not sure if it’s been popped out of joint or not. She can feel a cold floor beneath her and a draft coming from somewhere she can’t pinpoint. She opens her eyes and sees darkness with a warm purple glow. The room she’s in is small, there’s barely enough room for her to move around. Trying to move, she notices that her wrists are bound behind her back, but her legs are still free. Half shuffling and half crawling, she makes it to a wall to lean on. Shaking her head, she tries to remember what happened. She remembers being attacked by Lotor’s generals when she was with Keith, Keith being taken out by a weapon she can’t place then everything going black. _“They must’ve knocked me out.”_ She starts to question her situation in her mind, knowing full well she’ll get no answers. _“How long was I out for? Where am I? Where’s Keith? Is he ok? Is he searching for me?”_

 

“Hey! Is anyone out there? Where am I?” Trianna shouts, hoping her voice will carry through the shut door. She hears no response from the other side of the door, just an echo from the room she’s in.

 

Leaning against the wall, she thinks about her situation. She’s in what looks to be a jail cell, has no idea how she got here and no idea where she is or how long she’s been here. If there’s anything she’s learned from the Paladins, it’s not to give up. No matter what, she needs to stay strong until she’s rescued. There’s no way that the team isn’t looking for her. She just needs to stay put and they should be able to find her soon, they have to. About an hour goes by before the cell door opens and two Galra sentries are at the door. One of them walks in and grabs her by the arm and drags her out of the cell roughly. “What’s happening? Where are you taking me?”  She’s dragged down the hall flanked by both sentries. Neither of them will answer her. They get to a room and the sentry not dragging her uses the keypad to open the door while the other throws her into the room. The door closes before Trianna can even attempt to stand.

 

“Hello my darling.” A low seductive voice fills the silence of the room from behind Trianna. She’s heard that voice before. She tries to place it and her blood runs cold when she realizes that it’s Lotor. “Welcome back. I told you I’d bring you back home. Here, let me get these off.” She doesn’t have time to turn around before he’s removing the handcuffs on her wrists. With no time to stand and run, Trianna immediately crawls away from Lotor and presses her back to the wall so she can see him. Laughing at her feeble attempt to get away, Lotor quickly closes the distance between them. Taking her chin, he lifts it to make her stand. Trianna can feel his breath on her face and tries to turn her face away but can’t due to the hold Lotor has on her chin. She tries to pull Lotor’s hand away from her but he’s too strong and his arm won’t budge.

 

“It was a mistake leaving you at that base and trusting lowly sentries to bring you to me. I should have just taken you with me. Then I wouldn’t have had to go through all this trouble to get you back.”  Lotor lets go of her chin and strokes her cheek. Trianna is quick to turn away from him and try to get away. But Lotor puts his arm out, blocking her path. “But that won’t happen again darling. I don’t plan on letting you off this ship without me ever again.”

 

Lotor picks her up and sets her down on a couch and sits next to her. “Talk to me darling. How did you end up with those filthy Paladins? What happened at that military base to make the sentries leave you behind?” He keeps a hold of her wrist and strokes her arm with the other hand. His questions are met with a hateful glare and a struggle to pull away.

 

“Don’t be like that.” He pulls her close to him and holds her tightly so she can’t move. “I’ve missed you so much. And look at all the work I went through to get you back. I wouldn’t do that for anyone else but my favourite.” He leans in closer to her and is greeted with a headbutt in return.

 

Trianna is met with a hard slap across the face in return for her troubles. Due to the angle she’s sitting, the slap knocks her onto the floor. As she’s getting up, Lotor calls the two sentries back into the room. “Take her back to her cell.” He tells them. “She’s feisty, so sedate her a little to make her more compliant. I’ll put her to work another time.” He smiles when he sees the fear in Trianna’s eyes.

 

The next thing Trianna knows, she’s being dragged across the floor by both sentries. One of the sentries calls for a dose of sedative though his communicator on the way out of the room. She’s taken back to her cell where a third sentry is waiting. Trianna tries to struggle, but is held in place as a needle is stabbed into her neck and she’s injected with what she can only assume is a sedative. The two sentries holding her promptly toss her into the room without a care and shut and lock the door behind her. It doesn’t take long for the sedative to take affect even with Trianna fighting it every step of the way.

 

While Trianna is in the cell, sentries bring her small amounts of food twice a day and give her a dose of sedative once a day, twice if she’s particularly loud. As time goes by she gets weaker and more disoriented, losing track of time and not knowing where she is sometimes. She wonders if the team is any closer to finding her. _“I wonder what Keith is doing. Is he looking for me? I wish I had been able to bond with Red even a little bit. She’d be able to sense me and lead the Paladins to me.”_

 

After being locked up for a week, the cell door opens with no warning causing Trianna to jump from the sudden intrusion.  Only one sentry appears in the doorway, and she assumes that it’s her daily dose of sedative. He walks in and grabs her by the arm and pulls her to her feet, dragging her out of the room and down the hall. Trianna almost has to run to keep up. Not being able to pay attention to where she’s going, she trips and is dragged the rest of the way by the sentry. They stop at a door that already has two sentries guarding it. Trianna is able to recognize it as a different door than the one she first met with Lotor in. One of them opens the door and the sentry holding Trianna steps into the doorway and shoves her in. Tripping over her feet, she falls to the ground onto what seems to be a lush carpet. Standing to her feet, she looks around and realizes that she’s in a bedroom. The bed is large and covered with pillows and blankets. There’s a loveseat and chair in the room as well. Trianna starts to panic when she sees her surroundings. She remembers what Lotor said last time he saw her, that he would put her to work another time. While she’s looking around for a place to hide or a way out, a door she didn’t notice earlier opens.

 

“There you are my dear.” Lotor saunters to her and grabs her by the wrist roughly and pulls her off the ground. “Since you didn’t want to talk last time, I’m going to skip the small talk. It’s time that you return to your place in my harem and tonight will be your first night.”

 

Trianna tries to struggle and get out of Lotor’s grip. But being sedated and barely fed have taken their toll on her strength. Lotor throws her onto the bed and produces a pair of handcuffs. Before she can even try to fight, Trianna’s hands are cuffed tightly above her head. She tries to kick at Lotor while he grabs at her clothes, but he easily dodges her attacks. He grabs hold of her shirt and quickly rips it off her body, he does the same with her pants. He produces a large knife and cuts off her underwear and bra. All the destroyed clothes is thrown across the room.

 

“I’ve been waiting for this moment.” Lotor slowly takes his clothing off as he stares at her struggling, naked body. He climbs onto the bed and positions himself between her legs and pins her to the bed. “You don’t deserve kindness yet, you first need to learn your place.”

 

He positions his cock at her entrance and stares into her eyes seemingly feeding off the fear she’s feeling. He smirks at her as he pushes into her viciously. It feels like she’s being split apart and she screams from the pain. He laughs each time Trianna begs him to stop, her screams only fueling his lust. Everytime it seems like he’s going to cum, Lotor slows for a moment to bring himself back from the edge before continuing his assault on Trianna. After what feels like an hour, Lotor finishes inside of her and collapses onto her. After a minute he gets up and walks to the bathroom to clean himself off and gets dressed. Trianna tries to curl herself up in a ball to hide her naked body and cries.

 

When Lotor comes back to the bed, he grabs her face and turns it so she has no choice but to look at him. “Welcome back darling. I’m sure you’ll regain your spot as the favourite of my harem soon enough.” He makes his way to the door and calls the sentries in, “Take her to one of the solitary harem rooms instead of her cell. Make sure she remains on the current sedation schedule and that the door is locked from the outside. It’s not time to put her with the others yet.”

 

One of the sentries uncuffs her from the bed and throws her over his shoulder. Trianna is in too much pain and too weak to fight back. He follows the other sentry out of the room. It takes less time to get to the harem rooms than it did to her cell, probably to keep the girls closer to Lotor. The door is opened and she’s thrown in with no regard to safety. Trianna cries out when she hits the cold ground hard. She can hear the door slam shut and the sounds of multiple locks being engaged. She carefully sits up and looks around the room. It’s bare with only a bed, closet and a toilet and sink in the corner. The same purple glow from her cell is in this room too. There’s a draft that sends a chill up her spine and she realizes that she’s still naked, her clothes having been ruined by Lotor. She slowly gets up and can feel pain shooting through her body. Her privates hurt so much she touches them and looks at her hand to make sure there’s no blood. Hoping there’s something in the closet, she staggers to the door and opens it. There’s a single hanger with a skimpy silk-like robe hanging from it. It doesn’t look clean or warm, but it’s all she has. Trianna puts it on and makes her way to the bed and wraps herself in the thin blanket. Fatigue starts to set in as she curls up into a ball and sobs quietly. She falls asleep thinking of Keith and hoping he finds her soon before her situation gets worse.

 

Lotor calls her to his room a couple times a week and each time is the same. Trianna is brought in while still sedated and raped and beaten. Sometimes she’s beaten to the point where she has internal bleeding or broken bones. Lotor’s mood determines how she leaves his room. Sometimes it’s burns from hot candle wax and sometimes it’s whip marks. After each visit with Lotor, she’s brought to the med bay and scanned to determine her injuries. If she’s in any danger of dying from her injuries, she’s put into a healing pod just long enough so that she won’t die. Once she’s in no danger of dying, she’s thrown back into her room. She’s also given regular pregnancy tests. If they were to find she was pregnant she would be forced into an abortion. Based on the medical care she gets, she doesn’t want to know what the abortion process would be.

 

Every time he sees her, Lotor tells her that the sooner she stops fighting and gives in, the sooner he will stop beating and raping her. He promises that she will be treated like a princess. All she needs to do is give in to him and give herself to him. When Trianna won’t give up, his next step in convincing her is to stop sedating her. He tells her he wants her to feel every bit of pain until she gives into him. No matter what Lotor does to her, Trianna refuses to give up. She knows the Paladins are looking for her. Even if they gave up, there’s no way that Keith would. She can’t afford to give up on being found, she needs to stay strong. She needs to keep believing that Keith will find her.

 

After about a month of being in Lotor’s harem, Trianna’s faith in being found is starting to wane. She’s laying in bed crying quietly thinking about her current situation. _“Surely they would have found me by now? What if something happened while they were searching? What if they gave up? What do I do if they don’t find me, how much longer can I fight? I don’t know how much more I can take.”_ Trianna’s thoughts are interrupted by a sentry barging into the room and dragging her out. She’s so weak and in pain that she has given up on physically fighting the sentries that bring her to and from Lotor’s room, instead resorting to begging them not to bring her to Lotor..

 

As she has been many times before, she’s thrown into the room only to be greeted by Lotor. “It’s been a couple of weeks without any sedation. Two weeks of being able to feel everything that I do to you. Are you ready to give up? Ready to be treated like a princess who wants for nothing?” Lotor caresses her cheek as he speaks.

 

Without a word Trianna spits in his face, Not willing to waste her breath on Lotor’s advances. Unfortunately, she’s rewarded for this with a punch to the face that sends her reeling to the ground. Lotor kicks her in the ribs a couple times before grabbing her by the hair and lifting her face to his.

 

“One day I’m going to stop asking and just keep treating you like this no matter what.” He snarls before lifting her to her feet by her hair and slapping her across the face before throwing her into a nearby wall. Trianna is unable to get up by the time Lotor is on top of her again and he pulls her arm hard enough that her shoulder makes a sickening pop. He pushes her against the wall and holds her there by the neck and watches her struggle for breath. He waits for her to almost pass out before loosening his grip so she can breathe again. He does this a few times and laughs as he watches her struggle against his hand.

 

He lets her fall to the ground as he removes his belt. Lotor chuckles to himself as he watches her cough up blood. He looks between the belt and Trianna before pulling the robe off her and whipping her with the belt. Each scream that comes out of Trianna causes Lotor to whip her that much harder. Once her back is a mess of open wounds and blood Lotor stops, picks up Trianna and tosses her onto the bed.

 

She’s so weak that Lotor has given up on restraining her, she’s barely able to stand on her own let alone fight back. Lotor slowly strips off his clothing as he watches Trianna cry and struggle to breathe through the blood she’s coughing up. Once he’s naked, Lotor climbs onto the bed and lays Trianna on her back and spreads her legs. He wastes no time in violently entering her as she cries out. It doesn’t take long for him to finish in her. Not being anywhere near done, he reaches under the bed and produces a large dildo that appears to be covered in silicone spikes. He fucks Trianna with it while he waits for his cock to get hard again for another round.

 

Once Lotor is ready for another round, he tosses Trianna onto the floor and sits on the edge of the bed. “On your knees you slut.” He growls as he reaches onto the nightstand next to the bed and produces a pistol. “You’re going to suck my cock and if you get any ideas to harm me I’ll blow your pretty brains out.” He grabs Trianna by the hair and pulls her to her knees as he presses the barrel of the gun to her temple.

 

Knowing that Lotor is serious with his threats, Trianna proceeds to suck his cock being careful that none of her teeth touch him. Before too long, Lotor grabs the back of her head and thrusts into her mouth, hitting the back of her throat. Trianna tries to suppress her gag reflex as much as she can, but is unsuccessful and she ends up vomiting on Lotor.

 

“You fucking whore!” Lotor yells as his cock gets covered with vomit. “You’re going to pay for that!” Lotor stands and throws Trianna onto the bed.

 

He wipes his cock off on the bedspread and rolls Trianna onto her stomach. Without any hesitation, Lotor sinks his cock into her ass and fucks her more violently than ever before. Trianna screams in pain and begs him to stop. To muffle her screams, he shoves the barrel of the pistol in her mouth and warns her that he won’t hesitate to pull the trigger. Trianna lets out muffled screams and sobs as Lotor is relentless in his thrusts. With a loud grunt, he finishes in her ass and pulls out. He throws on a plush robe and calls the sentries into the room.

 

“Take her out of here. Make sure she’s scanned in the med bay before being brought back to her room.” Lotor instructs them. The sentries pick up Trianna’s limp body and robe and leave the room.

 

In the med bay, she’s scanned quickly and is told she has broken bones and cracked ribs, but is not in danger of dying despite coughing up blood. A pregnancy test also finds that Trianna is not pregnant. Just like the last month has gone, she’s brought back to her room and tossed in then the door is shut tightly and locked behind her. She tries to fight the intense pain to crawl to the bed. It’s uncomfortable, but still better than the cold floor. Her cracked ribs make it hard for her to breathe and she falls multiple times trying to get into bed. She carefully gets under the blanket and curls up as much as her injuries will allow her. The blood from her back seeps into her robe and blankets. Before she passes out from the pain her last thoughts are jumbled in her head. _“I can’t do this anymore. I should stop fighting. I’m sure Keith has forgotten about me.”_


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith is getting increasingly frustrated the more time goes by that they don't find Trianna. Allura gets a lead on the location of Lotor's ship and when he will be leaving with his generals. They only know that part of Lotor's harem is on the ship, but Trianna might not be one of them. They infiltrate the ship regardless to search for her. The harem is found, but Trianna isn't with them. She's eventually found in a secluded room, but what kind of condition is she in after spending a month with Lotor?

“It’s been a month! Why aren’t we doing more?” Keith screams at Lance. “All they care about is new alliances, why aren’t we searching for Trianna? Why did they give up?” Keith punches the training bot as hard as he can, knocking it’s head off. “End training sequence!” Breathing heavy, Keith collapses in both emotion and fatigue.

 

“Keith, you know they haven’t given up. We all miss her and want nothing more than to have her back.” Lance approaches Keith and sits next to him on the floor.

 

“Then why do we keep going on these diplomatic missions? They’re not helping us get Trianna back. They could be leading us farther away.”

 

Lance is about to respond when he’s interrupted by Allura’s voice on the comms ordering all Paladins to the bridge. Lance helps Keith off the ground and they both make their way out of the training room. Keith grumbles the whole way, threatening to take Red and just leave to find her himself. They’re the last to get to the bridge and are greeted by Shiro and Allura with hopeful looks on their faces. Keith and Lance step up and stand next to Hunk who looks just as confused as they are.

 

“Now that everyone is here, we have news.” Allura claps her hands together and smiles. The other Paladins look interested in what Allura has to say, while Keith just snorts expecting another diplomatic mission. Shiro gives Keith a quick glare before Allura continues.

 

“We just got some intel on where Lotor’s ship is.” Keith stands straighter and stares at Shiro as he speaks. “It’s short notice, but Lotor and his generals are going to be leaving the ship to meet with other Galra military leaders tomorrow.”

 

Keith says what everyone's thinking. “Is Trianna on the ship?”

 

“We don’t know. But our intel confirmed that there is part of his harem on the ship.” Allura tells him. “We have to be prepared for the possibility that she’s not.”

 

“When do we leave? I don’t need to wait for Lotor to be gone to get Trianna back.” Keith steps in front of the other Paladins.

 

“Keith, we’re waiting for tomorrow. We need to minimize the chances of running directly into Lotor and his generals. Don’t worry, we’ll find her.” Shiro puts his hand on Keith’s shoulder.

 

“You’ve been saying that for a month. You better hope we’re not too late. I’m going to prepare for tomorrow.” Keith steps back from Shiro. He leaves the room, not caring about anything other than finding Trianna tomorrow. He just hopes tomorrow isn’t too late.

 

**************************************************

 

The next day, all 5 Paladins are flying their lions to the last known coordinates of Lotor’s ship. As they get closer, Shiro quickly goes over the plan again. Pidge will hack their systems and download as much info as she can. Hunk will cover her while she works. Shiro, Keith and Lance will split up and search the ship for anyone that’s being held there. Black and Yellow will be the main transports as they’re the largest lions.

 

Pidge is able to hack into the ship’s systems and bring down the shields, sensors and communications before they’re detected. As soon as they board the ship Pidge and Hunk make a run for the bridge and take out any sentries in their way. Shiro, Keith and Lance start by splitting up and taking out as many sentries as they can as they start their search. Shiro finds a handful of prisoners and leads them to the Black Lion. Lance finds a large room with multiple beds and filled with women. He finds out that this is Lotor’s harem. He explains that he’s a Paladin of Voltron and is there to help them. He doesn’t see Trianna so he asks where she is. Multiple women speak up saying that they’ve never heard of anyone by that name. Lance’s face falls as he thinks about where she could be. Pidge and Hunk finish downloading information early and join the search by leading everyone that’s found back to the Lions.

 

“Ok team, looks like we’re all clear to leave. Let’s meet up at the castle.” Shiro announces over the comms.

 

“I’m not leaving. Not until I find Trianna.” Keith replies.

 

“Keith, we have to leave before Lotor gets back.”  Shiro sounds like he’s losing patience.

 

Lance speaks up before Keith can reply. “Don’t worry Shiro, I’ll stay with him.”

 

“Fine, don’t stay too long.” Shiro sighs before he leaves to catch up with Pidge and Hunk.

 

Keith and Lance keep searching and find no one, just empty cells that have already been searched. Keith starts to think that Trianna isn’t on this ship and this was all a waste. _“I told her I’d protect her. I can’t even do that right. I’ll never find her.”_ Keith kicks a dead sentry and tries to hold back tears when he hears Lance shout into the comms.

 

“Keith! I found a room that hasn’t been searched. It’s locked up tighter than the other cells for some reason.” Lance calls out over the comms while blasting through the door in a way that won’t hurt anyone on the other side. Keith stops what he’s doing and holds his breath as he hears Lance walk into the room. “There’s someone in here…...Keith! It’s Trianna!”

 

Lance reaches the bed and sees Trianna laying on her side, curled up in a ball shivering and sobbing quietly. She’s wrapped in a blood stained blanket but Lance can still see her face covered in bruises and dried blood. He calls her name and she doesn't seem to hear him, he takes a chance and touches her arm. He doesn’t expect the reaction that he gets. Trianna starts screaming and trying to get away. “No! Please no! Lotor no! It hurts! Don’t touch me!” She tries to move away from the touch but can only move so far due to the wall and her injuries.

 

“Trianna, it’s me. It’s Lance.” Lance tries to get through to her, but it’s obvious that she can’t hear him.

 

Her screams and sobs reach Keith through the comms. His heart jumps into his throat when he hears her scream. He runs to Lance’s location as fast as he can, jumping over the dead sentries on the way. When he gets to the room he sees Lance standing next to the bed almost in tears. His eyes move to the bed where Trianna is curled up in a ball sobbing and begging not to be hurt again.

 

“I just touched her arm I swear.” Lance sputters, “She doesn’t even realize it’s me, I don’t think she knows what’s happening. No matter what I do, she fights me and screams.”

 

Keith kneels next to the bed, taking off his helmet as he watches Trianna. He doesn’t know what Lotor did to her, but he knows that Lotor will pay. He reaches out and lightly touches her arm, even though she’s barely conscious she still fights. Her screams aren’t as loud now, but she’s still begging to be left alone. “Trianna, it’s me. It’s Keith. Please wake up. Please realize it’s me.” Keith touches her face and whispers to her softly. He talks to her softly for a few minutes, telling her that he’s here to take her back to the castle and how much he loves her. Slowly she stops fighting and opens her eyes. She only has time to whisper Keith’s name before passing out. Keith quickly puts his helmet on and carefully wraps Trianna in her blanket and lifts her as gingerly as he can. He can hear her whimper in pain as he picks her up, he holds her close before turning to Lance.

 

“We need to get to the Lions. I’m going with you in Blue. I’m not putting Trianna down and Blue’s hangar is closer to the med bay.” Because of his bond with Red, she already has an idea of what’s going on. He tells her that he’ll be in Blue with Lance because Blue’s hanger is closer to the med bay. He feels Red purr in agreement as they rush to Blue. Lance runs into Blue’s mouth first followed closely by Keith. Keith sits on the floor with Trianna on his lap as Lance hops into the pilots seat. Lance tries to take it easy while still going as fast as he can. Red is at Blue’s side making sure the path to the castle remains clear. Blue can feel the haste from her Paladin and also the panic and sadness from Red that she’s getting from Keith.

 

“Allura, Keith and I are on the way back. We found Trianna and she needs a healing pod ASAP. Have Coran meet us in the med bay.” Lance yells into the coms. Keith spends the trip sobbing quietly into Trianna’s hair, apologizing for not being able to protect her like he promised. He prays that they make it to the castle in time. They get to the castle and the moment that Blue lands, she opens her mouth to let the Paladins out. As soon as both Lions have docked, Allura wormholes the castle out of the area before Lotor comes back.

 

Coran is already in the med bay with a healing pod waiting when they get there. She’s still unconscious when Keith lays her gently on a table. He slowly unwraps the blanket from her and they see that all she’s wearing is a skimpy robe. The robe is tattered and stained with blood and other bodily fluids. Moving the robe a bit, they can see her naked body is covered in cuts, bruises and dried blood. It’s obvious that some limbs have been broken and not set properly before they started to heal.

 

Keith breaks down crying when he sees what Lotor has done to her. He wants to be angry, but for once his anger takes a backseat. His guilt and sadness for what happened to Trianna are pushing any anger out of the way. Lance was not prepared for what he sees and almost throws up at the sight of the condition that his little sister is in.

 

Coran looks at them with a grave look on his face. “I hate to say this boys, but we’re going to have to re-break and set the broken limbs before we put her in the healing pod. If we don’t, we risk them healing wrong.” Keith and Lance look horrified and Coran looks like he wants to do this as much as the two Paladins do. “I don’t know what kind of drugs she might have in her system, so I can’t give her any pain killers. We can’t risk any kind of interaction.”

 

Keith and Lance slowly nod. Keith holds Trianna’s face and turns it towards him. “Baby, we have to set the bones that didn’t heal right. I’ll be right here with you. You’ll be ok. I love you.” Keith whispers to her. He doesn’t know if she can hear him, but he wants her to know what’s happening regardless.

 

Keith holds down her shoulders as Lance holds down her midsection. Coran starts re-breaking and setting the broken limbs on by one. Each time he does, Trianna screams but doesn’t seem to regain consciousness otherwise. Keith cries as he comforts her throughout the whole process.

 

“Lance, fetch me one of the fluffy robes in the corner.” Coran points Lance to a closet in the corner. “She’s too hurt to try to put her in a cryo suit so the robe will have to do.”

 

While Lance gets the robe, Keith and Coran carefully remove the skimpy robe from Trianna and see the whip marks on her back. Keith chokes back a sob when he sees them. Lance brings the robe over and helps Keith get it on her. Keith picks her up and carries her over to the healing pod that Coran has prepared. He sets her inside and Coran shuts the door and starts it up. The pod freezes her immediately and Coran waits for the injury reading to display on screen. It’s in Altean so neither Lance or Keith can read it, but they see Coran’s face grow dark as he reads the list.

 

“Coran, what does it say?” Keith asks. Coran stays silent, not looking at Keith. “If you won’t tell me, I’ll go get Allura to read it to me.” Keith demands, his voice wavering slightly.

 

Coran looks at Keith and sighs before he starts reading. “The pod is detecting several cuts and scrapes, severe bruising both externally and internally, dislocated shoulder, her left arm is broken in multiple places, a sprained ankle, multiple fingers are broken, some cracked ribs and….” Coran stops, not wanting to tell Keith the last injury.

 

“And what? Coran, tell me. Please” Keith begs.

 

Coran checks the read out again to make sure he didn’t read it wrong. “There’s severe damage to her genital and anal region, mostly external but some internal.”

 

The more injuries that Coran reads out, the angrier Keith gets. He vows to get revenge on Lotor for what he’s done to Trianna. “Some of the injuries are a month old and it looks like she was sedated multiple times. There’s not much in her system now, so it looks like she hasn’t been sedated for a little while.” Coran continues, not seeing the rage building up in Keith.

 

Keith looks like he’s about to punch something when he feels a hand on his shoulder. He turns and sees Lance standing next to him. “She’ll be ok Keith. We got her back here in time.” Keith can tell that Lance is saying this for himself as much as he’s saying it for Keith’s sake.

 

“I hope we did Lance. I hope we did.” Keith says softly.

 

“She’ll be in the healing pod for at least 2 days.” Coran says as he turns away from the healing pod and starts to leave the room. “I’m going to let you both have some privacy. Call me if you need me.”

 

Keith stands in front of the healing pod and touches the door. “I told her I’d protect her. I promised I’d never let anything happen to her. She trusted me.” He can see his reflection in the window and can see the tears falling from his eyes. “I don’t deserve her. I failed at the most important thing I promised her. I don’t blame her if she wants to leave after this.” Keith leans forward and rests his forehead on the pod.

 

Lance steps forward and looks at how peaceful Trianna looks in the healing pod. “Keith, there’s nothing you could have done. You literally couldn’t stand on your own. Think about when we found her earlier, no matter what I did or said to her she fought me like I was the enemy. You were able to pull her out of that trance in a couple minutes.” Lance tugs on Keith’s arm, “Come on, let’s go clean up and check in with the rest of the team.”

 

Keith doesn’t budge and jerks his arm back. “I’m not going anywhere. Just in case she does decide to leave, I’m going to spend as much time with her as I can. Even if she is in a healing pod.” He sits down at the healing pod and leans against it, trying to get comfortable in his Paladin armor and failing.

 

“Ok, how about this. You go shower and get some food, I’ll stay here with Trianna. That way she’s not alone.” Lance offers, “Then if you want to stay here until she comes out, one of us will bring you food and stay with her if you need to leave.”

 

Keith looks between the pod and Lance thinking about the option that Lance gave him. “Fine, but if anything happens call me right away.” Keith gets up and slowly leaves the room.

 

Lance turns to the healing pod and looks at Trianna. He can feel himself start to lose control of his emotions. He had held it together so long for Keith that he feels like the dam has burst. He presses his hand against the glass door and cries. “Please Trianna, be ok. If not for us, but for Keith. He can’t live without you. He needs you.”

 

Keith is gone for less than an hour when he walks into the med bay with his hair still damp from the shower. “Feel better?” Lance asks as he stands up from where he was sitting next to the healing pod.

 

“Physically yes. Thanks for staying. I know it’s silly to not want her to be alone, but I can’t help it.” Keith looks into the healing pod and sighs.

 

“You don’t have to thank me. I’m as concerned as you are. I’m going to clean up and check in with the rest of the team. If you need anything let me know. I’ll bring you food, stay with Trianna, whatever you need.” Lance’s face loses his usual goofiness and is replaced by seriousness. “I know how stubborn you are, don’t be afraid to ask me for help.”

 

“I got it Lance. Keep me updated on what’s going on with the girls we rescued. Maybe they’ll be able to tell us what happened on that ship.”

 

Lance nods and leaves the room, turning to see Keith settling in next to the healing pod with his tablet before heading down the hall.

 

**************************************************

 

After cleaning up, Lance searches the castle for the rest of the team. He hasn’t touched base with anyone since he and Keith got back with Trianna. He finds the other 3 Paladins and Allura in the lounge talking with the 8 girls they rescued.

 

“Lance there you are.” Lance hears Shiro call out to him when as soon as he steps into the room. “Allura said that you and Keith found Trianna and brought her to the med bay. Is she ok?”

 

“No, she’s not.” Lance looks down at his feet as he speaks, trying to hold back the tears he can feel starting to sting his eyes. “If we had been any longer we probably would have have lost her. She’ll be in a healing pod for at least two days, maybe longer. Keith isn’t leaving the med bay until she’s out.”

 

When Lance looks up he notices that the girls look horrified hearing about Trianna’s condition. “Was she really hurt that bad?” One of them gets the nerve to speak up and ask what the rest of them are thinking.

 

Lance nods solemnly in response. “It doesn’t look like you all were treated as badly as she was. Do you have any idea why?” He tries to hide the anger in his voice.

 

“We were all beaten at first, some of us worse than others. Lotor wanted to break us.” One with bright pink skin and black hair says. “It just depended on how much we fought Lotor. The sooner we gave in to him, the sooner the beatings stopped. I don’t know about the others, but I was willing to give in almost right away just to get the pain to stop.” She looks down at her lap and takes a deep breath. “Even if it meant giving up who I was and never being able to go home again.” The other girls nod in agreement with what was said.

 

Shiro raises an eyebrow. “So you’re saying that Trianna is in the shape she’s in because she wouldn’t give in to Lotor?”

 

A girl that looks to be a Galra half breed explains her situation when she first arrived as part of Lotor’s harem. “I tried to fight Lotor at first. Then I was sedated and beaten and raped. Lotor kept telling me that it would all stop when I gave in. I held out for a week before I gave in. You said Trianna was missing for a month, I can’t imagine going through that for a month when I only lasted a week.”

 

She happens to be sitting next to Allura who hugs her. “You all don’t need to worry about that anymore. We’ll help you in any way we can and bring you to whatever planet you want. For now, let’s show you all to your rooms so you can rest.” All 8 girls, along with Allura stand and leave the room.

 

“Is Trianna really that bad?” Hunk says quietly, clearly scared of the answer.

 

Lance nods, “She is. Multiple broken bones, internal bruising and bleeding, more cuts and wounds than you can imagine. There’s more, but I don’t know what she’d be willing to share. I think we made it to her just in time.”

 

Pidge wipes her eyes from behind her glasses. “How’s Keith? You said he wasn't leaving the med bay.”

 

“He’s taking it really hard. He’s blaming himself for what happened. I’ve tried to tell him that it’s not his fault but I don’t think he believes me.”

 

“I know he doesn’t believe you.” Shiro tells him. “Keith’s really stubborn. The only chance of him believing it’s not his fault is if Trianna tells him. And he might not even believe her.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trianna finds herself back in the castle and safe from Lotor. She tries to deal with what she’s been through and the nightmares that it brings. Keith admits to the guilt he feels and he blames himself for everything she went though.

Over the next 2 days, the rest of the team takes turns checking on Keith and making sure that he eats. Lance is the only person that he will trust leaving in the med bay with Trianna. Shiro tries to get Keith to talk to him but he shuts down and won’t answer Shiro. The next day while Shiro is spending some time with Keith, the healing pod starts beeping letting anyone within earshot know that the pod is about to open. Keith scrambles to stand up while Shiro runs to the comms to call Coran. The door opens and Trianna falls into Keith's waiting arms. Her eyes slowly open as she regains consciousness. Not knowing where she is, she starts to panic and weakly struggle against the arms holding her.

 

Keith tightens his grip against her struggling so he doesn’t drop her. “Trianna shhhh….Hey, it’s Keith. You’re in the castle. I’ve got you.”

 

The panic slowly leaves her eyes as she looks around and sees the familiarness of the castle. “Keith?” She whispers as she touches his face to make sure he’s real. “I’m really home? You didn’t give up on me?”

 

Keith buries his face into her hair and holds on to her as tightly as he can without hurting her. “Of course I didn’t give up. I never gave up. I love you.”

 

“I love you too” Trianna weakly wraps her arms around Keith. They both stay like that and cry into each others shoulders.

 

Shiro watches them from the doorway, not wanting to interrupt their moment. He’s relieved to see Keith smiling, it’s not something he thought he’d see again. Suddenly, Coran loudly bursts into the room, ruining any moment that Trianna and Keith were sharing. Trianna yelps and grabs at Keith, and buries her face in his chest. Keith grips her protectively as he looks to see what the noise was. He relaxes a little when he sees Coran rushing into the room. He whispers to Trianna that it’s just Coran and she’s safe.

 

“My apologies, I didn’t mean to scare you. I didn’t think when I ran into the room.” Coran apologizes as Trianna turns to look around the room. She wonders if Shiro was always there or if he came in with Coran. “You’ve been in the pod for 2 days, how are you feeling?”

 

“Ok I guess. I’m really tired and weak.”

 

“If it’s ok with you, have a seat on the table and I’ll just run a few scans and check the log from the healing pod then you’ll be free to go.” Coran reaches to a shelf where he keeps his medical scanner.

 

Keith helps Trianna to the table and lifts her onto it. She keeps a tight grip on Keith’s arm while Coran is scanning her. They both look worried as Coran reads the scanner and walks to the healing pod to check the logs. Shiro puts his hand on Keith’s shoulder and gives it a small squeeze. Coran turns to them with a large smile on his face. “Good news! The healing pod healed everything. You’re as good as new after a bit of rest.”

 

“Oh thank god.” Keith breathes as he hugs Trianna. He can’t believe the healing pod healed everything. “Let’s get you to bed, I can get you some food if you’re hungry.” He helps her off the table and supports her.

 

“No. Don’t leave me. Please. I don’t want to be alone.” Trianna begs Keith.

 

“Keith, you take her back to your room and I’ll go get you both food.” Shiro offers. “We can’t have the both of you not eating.”

 

“Thanks Shiro. I owe you one. Now let’s get you to bed.” Keith wraps his arm around Trianna’s waist and helps her take a few steps towards the door. Shiro nods and heads out of the room to get food. Keith notices that Trianna is having a particularly hard time walking. He stops and moves her arms around his neck then picks her up bridal style and carries her back to their room. They don’t run into anyone on the way back, much to the relief of both of them. Trianna smiles when they get to their room, she never thought that she’d see this room again. Keith puts her down on the bed and starts going through dresser drawers. She watches him as he pulls out a set of pyjamas for her.

 

“What do you say we clean you up and get you in some pyjamas?” Keith asks. Trianna nods as Keith picks her up again and brings her into the bathroom. He sets her down on the closed toilet and moves to the tub to start the water. He gathers towels and soaps while the tub fills. Trianna watches him, still not believing that she’s home.

 

Keith shuts the water off once the tub is filled. “I made sure the water wasn’t too hot. Are you ok if I take your robe off?”

 

Trianna nods again. “I am. I trust you.”

 

Keith unties the robe she’s wearing and gently pulls it off her shoulders. When he lowers the robe off her back, he pays special attention to the dried blood holding the robe to her. Trianna whimpers as the robe sticks to her back. Keith apologizes and carefully finishes removing the robe. Once the robe falls to the floor, he sees all the scars on her body that Lotor caused. He runs his fingers on her shoulders across the scars, a mixture of anger and sadness fills him as he turns his head away from Trianna so she can’t see his face.

 

“You’re disgusted by them. By me.” Trianna whispers as she lowers her head in response. Embarrassed, she tries to cover herself with her arms.

 

Keith snaps out of the anger filled trance he was in and looks at Trianna. “I’m not disgusted by you at all.” He holds her hands and stares into her eyes.

 

“But you looked away when you saw the scars. I don’t look how I did the last time you saw me.” Trianna’s voice starts to tremble, feeling self-conscious about the scars.

 

“That’s because I blame myself for those scars. If I was able to protect you, you would’ve stayed safe.” He cups her cheek and looks deep into her eyes. “You’re still just as beautiful as you’ve always been.”

 

“Keith, none of these scars are your fault. They’re Lotor’s fault.” Trianna’s voice hardens as she tries to get through to Keith. “We were attacked from behind. There’s nothing that we could’ve done to change the outcome.” She holds the hand cupping her face, her voice softening. “Please don’t blame yourself. No one else blames you, I don’t blame you.”

 

Before Keith can respond, he’s interrupted by a knock at the door. Trianna instinctively lets out a small scream and grips onto Keith tightly. He tells her that it’s probably just Shiro as he covers her shoulders back up with the robe. He makes sure she’s ok alone for a minute before kissing her on the cheek and getting up to answer the door. She can hear Shiro’s voice talking to Keith as he drops off some food for them. Shiro only stays for a minute before he leaves and Keith comes back into the bathroom.

 

“There’s food waiting for you when we’re done in here. Are you ready to get in the tub?” Keith asks, waiting for an answer before taking the robe off Trianna.

 

“I am. But I’ll need help to wash up.” Trianna says. “I’m too weak to be able to do it myself.”

 

Keith removes the robe from Trianna’s shoulders and lets it fall to the ground. He lifts her and gently sets her in the tub. After asking if he can start with her hair, he takes the removable shower head and prepares to wash her hair. As he shampoos her hair, he notices Trianna start to relax. Keith gets her permission before moving on to cleaning a new spot of her. Soon they’re done and Keith starts to drain the tub while he gets a towel ready. Lifting Trianna out of the tub, he sets her on her feet on the bath mat and wraps her in a large towel.

 

“Let’s get you dressed and fed.” Keith smiles as he wraps a towel around her wet hair. He moves her arms around his neck and picks her up princess style to bring her back into the bedroom. He sets her on the bed and gently towel dries her hair and body before helping her into a t-shirt and pyjama pants. Keith walks over to the desk and prepares a small plate of food goo for Trianna and brings it to her.

 

“I can’t believe I missed the castle’s food goo.” Trianna says as she takes spoonful of food goo. Keith smiles watching her enjoy food goo so much. Shiro brought him food too but he’s too busy watching Trianna to eat. Trianna notices Keith watching her intently. “What? Is there something on my face?”

 

“Nope. I just can’t believe this is real.” Keith brushes some hair out of her face. “You know if you ever want to talk about what happened, I’ll be here for you. I just want to understand so I can help you as much as I can.” He takes the empty plate from Trianna’s hands and sets it on the desk before sitting next to her.

 

“I’m not ready to talk about it yet. But you’ll be the first person that I go to when I am ready. I can’t imagine telling anyone else first.” She takes Keith’s hands and grips them as tight as she can. “Right now all I need is you and to know I’m safe.”

 

“I can definitely do that. There will be times I need to leave though. Like missions or when Voltron is needed. I don’t like the idea of leaving you alone here though.” Trianna can see concern in Keith’s eyes as he speaks.

 

“I know. I’m sure we’ll be able to figure something out.” Trianna barely gets the last words out of her mouth before she starts yawning.

 

“I’m sure we will too. But for now you should get to bed.” He helps her get into bed and makes sure she’s comfortable. “I know you’ve been through a lot but, is it ok if I get into bed with you? I can sleep on the floor if you’re not comfortable.”

 

“Why would you think I’m not comfortable?” Trianna questions. “I said I wanted to feel safe and you make me feel safe. Being able to touch you helps me keep my mind calm and remember that this is real and I’m home.” Trianna’s voice starts to tremble, “When I was gone, I had dreams that I was back here and they all seemed so real. But every time I woke up, I was still on that ship.”

 

Keith pulls Trianna into him before she can start crying. “I’m sorry. I just didn’t want to push you into anything.” He stroked her hair as she buried her face into his chest. “Come on, let’s get to sleep. You must be exhausted.”

 

Trianna pulls away from Keith and nods while she gets comfortable. When she’s stopped moving, Keith gently lays down next to her. It takes Trianna all of 5 seconds to scoot over so she’s nestled into Keith’s side, using his chest/shoulder as a pillow.

 

“I have a question to ask. And I want you to be honest with me.” Trianna asks, looking up at Keith. “Are you ok with knowing that part of my past was being in a harem? From what I can understand from my time with Lotor, I was willing then.”

 

Keith shuffles so he can see her face, “I am ok with it. Because it’s in your past and that’s not who you are anymore. Now you’re here with me, with this crazy group we call a space family. It doesn’t matter that happened in your past, I love you and that will never change.”

 

Trianna hugs Keith tightly and nuzzles her face into his chest. “I love you too. Thank you.”

 

They’re both so exhausted that they fall asleep almost immediately.

 

After a few hours, Trianna wakes up with a jolt and a scream. Keith immediately wakes up to see Trianna sitting up in bed shaking with tears streaming down her face. He holds her and strokes her hair while she cries. He tries to soothe her while reminding her she’s safe, it works as she starts to regain her composure enough to speak.

 

“I-I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you up. I had a nightmare, that’s all.” She lowers her head to avoid eye contact with Keith.

 

Holding her tighter Keith shushes her. “You have nothing to be sorry about. I said that I’ll be here for you and that includes nightmares. I’d rather be woken up and help you than you suffer alone.” Trianna hugs him tighter in response. “Did you want to talk about it?”

 

“I’m not sure if you’d want to hear it.” Trianna tells him, lifting her head. “I dreamt about the first time Lotor raped me.”

 

“If it will help you, I’ll listen to anything. Remember, you only have to tell me what you’re comfortable with.” He wipes some tears from her cheeks now that he can see her face.

 

“I was able to see everything in detail. It was like I was back there. I felt scared, I could feel the humiliation he put me through. I could almost feel the pain that he caused.” Keith can feel her shaking like a leaf in his arms.

 

“It’s all over now. He can’t get to you here, you’re safe.” Keith whispers to her over and over as he holds her. “I’m sorry I couldn’t protect you like I said I would before. I promise to do better this time.” He only receives a mumble in response. Looking down, he realizes that Trianna fell asleep leaning into him. He gently lays down, still holding Trianna in his arms. He falls asleep and they both sleep until the morning.

 

**************************************************

 

Keith is the first to wake up, elated that yesterday wasn’t a dream and that Trianna is laying next to him. She didn’t move much in her sleep, she’s still holding onto Keith and it doesn’t look like she’s going to let go anytime soon. Keith curses that he has to use the bathroom so he gingerly tries to get out of Trianna’s grasp and get out of bed without waking her. He manages to crawl out from her grasp and thinks that he’s made it. Just as his feet are about to hit the floor, he feels Trianna move towards him and hold him by the waist. Turning around, he notices that she’s partially awake so he really failed on both parts of his plan. She mumbles something that sounds like “Where are you going?” but Keith can’t be quite sure since her face is still buried in a pillow. He finally manages to get out of her grasp again and heads to the bathroom. When he gets out, Trianna is sitting up and rubbing the sleep out of her eyes.

 

“Morning. How did you sleep after your nightmare?” Keith asks as he sits back down on the bed.

 

“Not great. I still dreamt quite a bit, but nothing bad enough to scare me awake.” Stretching, she can hear a couple of joints crack. “I still feel pretty rundown and tired though.”

 

“That’s normal with being in the healing pod for a couple days. What do you say to me going to get breakfast while you get some more rest?” Keith moves off the bed and starts getting dressed.

 

Trianna is a little scared at the thought of being alone right now. “You won’t be long right?”

 

“I can always ask someone to bring us food if you want me to stay.”

 

Before Trianna can answer, they hear a soft knock on the door. It’s soft enough that Trianna doesn’t scream, but does jump at the sudden noise. Keith opens the door to see Lance standing there nervously looking at his feet. “Lance, is everything alright? You look nervous.”

 

“Everything is fine. I just know that it’s probably not a good idea to just show up like this, but I wanted to see how Trianna was doing.” Lance fidgets in the doorway, something Keith hasn’t really seen him do unless he’s extremely worried.

 

“Just a second.” Keith tells Lance before turning away from the door. “Trianna, is it ok if Lance comes in to see you?” Lance can’t hear her response, but it must’ve been yes. Keith steps out of the door way and invites Lance into the room. Lance cautiously steps into the room, not having seen Trianna since she was in the healing pod. “If it’s ok, I’ll get us breakfast while you two chat.”

 

Trianna thinks for a moment, “That would be fine. Thanks again for getting me food.”

 

“Want me to get you anything Lance?” Keith offers.

 

Lance shakes his head. “No thanks. I have to bug Allura about some stuff so I’m going to have breakfast in the kitchen.”

 

Keith nods in acknowledgement and kisses Trianna before leaving the room. Lance takes the desk chair and moves it next to the bed to sit down. “I’m sorry if I’m intruding, I was really worried and wanted to see how you were doing. I should have asked Keith before just stopping in.” Lance starts rambling, not able to stop himself.

 

“Lance. You’re babbling.” Trianna interrupts. “You don’t have to be nervous. Thanks to the healing pod I’m mostly ok physically, I’m just tired and feeling rundown. Well, along with being scared most of the time.”

 

“I was so worried about you.” Lance says. “When I found you, I tried to bring you to Blue but you just started fighting me. You didn’t calm down until Keith showed up. I guess that’s why I was worried about coming to check on you. I wasn’t sure if you hated me.”

 

“Lance, I was in so much pain that I didn’t know what was what. Keith was barely able to get through to me.”  Trianna hangs her head a bit. “I’m so sorry about what I did. After they stopped sedating me, I was in constant pain.”

 

“Don’t you dare apologize. We’re all just happy you’re safe.”

 

They spend the next 15 minutes chatting with Trianna telling Lance about having nightmares and Lance telling her about the girls they rescued and what they had to say about Lotor. He offers to take her to meet them before they leave in a few days but Trianna isn’t up to leaving the room or being around large crowds of people just yet. Eventually Keith gets back with breakfast. “Sorry it took so long. Everyone had a million questions.”

 

“That’s fine. I didn’t mind at all.” Lance says as he stands up to leave. “Remember if either of you need anything let the rest of us know.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trianna continues to deal with her emotions and get used to life in the castle again. She relies with the rest of the team to help her with different aspects of her trauma. She realizes that in order to heal, she needs to share her story. Now she needs to decide if she shares it with Keith or the whole team.

Trianna spends the next couple weeks resting and mostly keeping to herself. Keith still refuses to let her be alone, not that she minds though. She doesn’t like being alone right now. She tried to be strong and told Keith that she’d be ok alone while he went to train for a couple hours. He got back to find the mice keeping her company. When they noticed Keith, they got angry and started squeaking loudly at him. Trianna had to explain that she was having a panic attack after being left alone and the mice helped her calm down. She told the mice not to be mad at Keith, neither of them knew she would panic when left alone. Keith apologized to the mice and promised not to let it happen again and he would let them know if all the Paladins had to be away at once. After that incident, Keith made sure that someone was with Trianna at all times until she was 100% sure that she felt comfortable being alone. This allowed her to be able to spend time with the rest of the team one on one. She was really grateful for this because they all helped her deal with her trauma differently.

 

Keith showers her with love and affection. He’s there for every nightmare and panic attack and never once complains even if it’s in the middle of the night. He refuses to let Trianna know when he’s less than 100% so she doesn’t worry, but she can see him nodding off occasionally after she has a particularly bad nightmare and can’t get back to sleep. His ability to make her feel safe, even when in the midst of a panic attack, is astonishing. Just feeling his arms around her is enough to make her feel like nothing bad can happen. Trianna tells him he has the patience of a saint to not pawn her off on someone else. 

 

Lance is a big brother to her and acts as such. He’s overprotective and questions any decision that might not be in her best interest. She’s able to open up to him about some of the nightmares she has and how she’s feeling without him judging her. Even though he’s overprotective, he doesn’t view her as weak. He tells Trianna what the girls they rescued told the team about the way they were treated. If that doesn’t prove how strong she is, he doesn’t know what will. He’s not able to help her with her anxiety quite like he used to, but he makes sure that she still remembers to laugh.

 

Being familiar with PTSD, Shiro is able to relate to the things Trianna is feeling. It’s nice to be able to talk to someone about her feelings and the seemingly random panic attacks. He helps her to identify the things that are causing her panic attacks so she can try to avoid them until she feels she can face them. They practice breathing exercises together that she can use to help her get to sleep after a nightmare or to help with a panic attack. Shiro has been the key to helping her not have panic attacks over any strange noise in the castle. Trianna doesn’t think she would have progressed like she has without Shiro’s help.

 

Pidge and Hunk both help to keep her mind occupied. Trianna’s mind wanders sometimes and it tends to go back to memories of Lotor’s ship. Even after the fiasco of trying to learn from Hunk and Pidge when she first got to the castle, they will both bring small projects they’re working on to show Trianna and to get her help with them. Sometimes Hunk will bring by some new recipe that he’s tried for her to taste or get her help with choosing a meal. Trianna has learned so much from both of them, she’s not sure how she got so overwhelmed before.

 

Allura and Coran help her keep her emotions in check. They teach her about Altea and tell her stories about growing up there. Allura has taught her some meditation techniques to help calm her mind when she’s feeling overwhelmed. They’re so effective that she’s even taught them to Keith. Coran has been telling Trianna about the ins and outs of the castle. She may not be able to go out and help Coran with things, but he’s able to explain things so she can still understand.

 

Even the mice are a big help. They are able to make Trianna laugh even when she feels like she can’t. They keep her updated on things happening in the castle by performing elaborate skits for her. 

 

**************************************************

 

“I think I’d like to have lunch in the kitchen today with the others.” Trianna grabs Keith’s breakfast plate and sets it with hers on the desk. “It’s about time that I start getting out of this room. I’ve been cooped up for 3 weeks now.”

 

“Are you sure you’re up to it?” Trianna can read the concern on Keith’s face. “I’m ok bringing your meals to you.”

 

“I am. Shiro, Lance and Pidge won’t be there anyways, so it will be less overwhelming with less people there.” Trianna remembers that Keith told her the three Paladins would be out on a mission today and not back until dinner. “I’m ok being alone sometimes now too, so eating with the rest of the team seems like an obvious next step.”

 

“It scares me how much thought you put into things without me realizing.” Keith kisses her forehead and grabs the dishes from the desk. “I’ll go bring these back and we’ll get you ready for lunch.”

 

They decide to leave their room a little early so that Trianna can enjoy a slow stroll around the castle before lunch. When they get to the kitchen, Hunk is still cooking and preparing lunch. He sees Keith come in but doesn’t notice Trianna right away. “Hey Keith, you’re early. I’ll get a couple plates for you and Trianna as soon as I’m done cooking.”

 

“No need this time Hunk.” Trianna replies from behind Keith. Hunk whips around in surprise, almost sending the bowl he’s using across the room. 

 

“Trianna! You’re going to join us for lunch today?” Hunk sets the bowl down and wipes his hands on his apron. 

 

“I was planning on it. Is it ok that we’re here this early?” Trianna looks nervous at being outside of the room for the first time in weeks. “I’m not sure if my anxiety could handle walking into a room already full of people so I wanted to be comfortable before that happens.”

 

“Of course! Make yourselves comfortable and grab a drink if you want one. I probably won’t be overly talkative right now, but I’m really happy to see you out and about.”

 

“Thanks Hunk. We appreciate it.” Keith replies as he leads Trianna to the table and pulls out her chair for her to sit before getting some water for both of them. Trianna nervously watches Keith as he comes back to the table and sits next to her.

 

Allura and Coran walk into the kitchen at the same time. They appear to be in an argument about the newest simulation that Coran created for the Paladins. Coran is the first to see Trianna and stops speaking, confusing Allura until she notices Trianna as well. 

 

“Trianna my girl!” Coran shouts. “It’s wonderful to see you outside of your room.” 

 

“It really is.” Allura continues. “How are you feeling dear?”

 

“I’m ok.” Trianna’s voice is quiet. “It’s strange and overwhelming, but I’m ok so far.” Keith puts his arm around her shoulder to help calm her anxiety. As she leans into him, she can feel her anxiety slowly leaving her. She swears, if she could purr right now she would. It doesn’t take long from there for Hunk to start bringing plates over to the table. During the meal, Trianna is asked is she will be joining the rest of the team for meals from now on. She’s not sure if she’ll be up to it every meal right now, but she’ll try. 

 

“I’m going to be working on some recipes this afternoon, you think you’re up to helping?” Hunk asks Trianna as he clears the dishes after lunch. 

 

“I’d like that.” Trianna agrees. “I do have one favour to ask though. If I start feeling panicked, can you bring me back to my room or call Keith to come get me?”

 

“Of course! I promise that I’ll drop everything if you need to go back to your room.” Hunk promises.

 

Trianna turns to Keith. “Is that ok? That I stay here with Hunk for the afternoon?”

 

“Of course it is. If you feel comfortable with it and Hunk promises to take care of you I won’t stand in your way.” Keith holds her hand and gives it a squeeze. “Since you’ll be here this afternoon, I think I’m going to get some training in before dinner. Don’t hesitate to call if you need me.” Hunk and Trianna agree and Keith kisses Trianna before leaving the kitchen.

 

“Alright. First I need to get the lunch dishes out of the way then we can get started.” Hunk says as he makes a cup of tea and brings it to Trianna. “Just relax for now and we can get started when I’m done.”

 

“Thanks Hunk. I appreciate you doing this.” Trianna takes the hot cup from Hunk. “It’s been nice being out of my room even though it’s scary.”

 

Hunk looks up from the dishwasher and smiles. “That’s why the rest of us are here. To try to make it less scary for you.”

 

It takes a few more minutes for Hunk to finish the dishes. Next he starts pulling out some recipe books and cooking supplies. “Ready to get started?”

 

Trianna smiles. “Ready chef. What do I need to do?” 

 

“The first recipe I want to work on is called Nasimansi. It’s like a stir-fry like dish with eayote and iranth vegetables and a rice-like grain. I’m hoping you can help me with the spices, I can’t seem to get them quite right.”

 

“Sounds great. Just point me to where I need to be and tell me what to do.”

 

They spend the next few hours working on different recipes. They manage to get 3 recipes to the point that Hunk is happy with them and willing to make them for other people. The kitchen however is a disaster. There are pots and pans covering half of the kitchen and plates and bowls covering the other half. 

 

“We did it.” Hunk high fives Trianna as they finish up the last taste test. “Thanks, you’ve been an amazing help this afternoon.”

 

“I should be thanking you. I think this afternoon did me more good than I thought.”

 

Before they can continue talking, they hear the kitchen door open. Trianna turns to see Keith walking into the kitchen, still flushed and sweaty from training.

 

Keith walks over to see what they’re doing. “I was on my way to the room to shower and thought I’d check in on you guys.”

 

“Hey Keith! We’re just finishing up here. Trianna, if you wanna head back I can finish cleaning up then start on dinner.” Hunk says.

 

“You sure? I said I’d help you clean up.” Trianna asks. 

 

“We made it through 3 recipes this afternoon, you earned the prize of not cleaning up. Go have fun.” Hunk starts shooing her out of the kitchen.

 

Keith and Trianna walk hand in hand down the hall. “I really enjoyed myself this afternoon with Hunk. I think I might try spending more time outside the room again soon.” 

 

Keith smiles and gives her hand a tight squeeze. “As long as you’re sure you can handle it. I don’t want you pushing yourself too hard.”

 

“Don’t worry, I know my limits.” Trianna stops Keith at the door to their room and gives him a quick kiss on the cheek before opening the door and entering the room. 

 

Keith follows her into the room and shuts the door behind him. “I’m going for a shower then we can relax before dinner. Sound good?”

 

Trianna nods and hums in agreement as she watches him peel his training clothes off and head into the bathroom. While he’s in the shower, Trianna starts to think about talking about what happened on Lotor’s ship.  _ “Well I originally thought I was going to only tell Keith first. But maybe I’m ready to tell everyone else? It’s too hard to keep everything bottled up, maybe if I can talk about what happened, it will help me get past it.” _ She thinks to herself. Keith already has a small idea about what happened after helping her deal with her nightmares, but it’s not even close to what actually happened. As she thinks about the decision to tell everyone at once, Keith comes out of the shower in a towel and starts pulling clothes out of the closet. 

 

“Keith, I’m ready to talk about what happened on Lotor’s ship. And I think I want to tell everyone at the same time.”  Trianna tells him while he’s getting dressed. “If I want to move past this, I need to stop holding it in.”

 

Keith turns to her with a face full of concern. “Are you sure that’s a good idea? I mean, telling everyone at once.”

 

“I’m not 100% on telling everyone at once yet, but I know I’m ready to tell you. I figure we’ll wait for after dinner so there’s more time. I’ll decide by then who I want to tell.” 

 

“Whatever you decide, you know I’m here for you.” Keith tells her as he sits on the bed with her and grabs her hand. “What do you say we head to the kitchen early again to make sure you don’t have to walk into a crowd of people? If we leave now, we can enjoy a walk around the castle if you’re up to it.”

 

“Sounds good to me. Let’s go.” Trianna stands and pulls Keith off the bed into a hug. 

 

They arrive in the kitchen early like they did for lunch. Once they’ve greeted Hunk, Trianna sits down as Keith gets them both something to drink. The whole team should be showing up for dinner and the thought of it makes Trianna nervous. Once he’s seated, Keith keeps his hand on hers and squeezes it occasionally to help keep her grounded. It doesn’t take long for people to start arriving. Shiro and Allura are first. They’re so wrapped up in their conversation about the mission earlier in the day that Shiro almost doesn’t notice Trianna until he sits down. Lance is next, massaging his hands after an intense round of video games before dinner. He notices Trianna right away and runs to take his seat next to her. Pidge and Coran are the last two, both of them chatting about the plant samples Pidge gathered on a recent mission. Neither of them notice Trianna until Lance mentions it to them.

 

Dinner conversation is light. It’s mostly about the mission earlier that afternoon and what kind of supplies they were able to gather. Trianna welcomes the conversation even though she cannot take part. She just enjoys being around the rest of the team all at once even though she’s feeling anxious being out of her bedroom. Trianna chooses to stay silent the whole meal, thinking about if she’s ready to tell everyone about what happened to her on Lotor’s ship. Once everyone has finished eating, Trianna figures that it’s now or never. 

 

“Before everyone leaves, I want to thank all of you for everything you’ve done for me the last 3 weeks.” Trianna breaks her silence. “I can’t imagine where I’d be without all of you. I’ve been thinking about it and I’m ready to talk about what happened.” She looks at Keith and he squeezes her hand as she speaks. “If I don’t talk about it, I feel like I won’t be able to move forward. If no one has any plans, I’d like to tell everyone tonight.”

 

“If you’re sure you’re ready, we can all meet in the lounge once everything is cleaned up.” Shiro tells her. 

 

“That would be ok. And I am ready. I’ve been thinking about this for a little while now.” 

 

“In that case, Lance and I will do the dishes and clean up here.” Hunk says, starting to gather plates. Lance pouts at being volunteered to do dishes.

 

Allura stands next. “Coran, Pidge and I will go collect pillows and blankets so we can make the lounge more comfortable for everyone.” Coran and Pidge stand and leave the room with Allura. 

 

“Shiro and I will take Trianna to the lounge.” Keith says standing and pulling out Trianna’s chair so she can stand. 

 

Everyone goes their separate ways to take care of what they need to. Once Keith, Shiro and Trianna get to the lounge, Trianna sits in the middle of one of the couches. Her anxiety suddenly takes over when she realizes what she’s going to do and she starts to shake. Keith and Shiro both notice immediately and jump into action. Keith sits next to her and wraps his arms around her while Shiro kneels in front of her so he can see her face and gets her attention. They run through the breathing exercises that he taught her until she stops shaking. 

 

“You’re sure you’re ok with this right?” Keith asks. “You can always back out if you want to.” 

 

Trianna takes hold of Keith’s hand. “I’m sure. If I don’t talk about what happened, It’s going to be more difficult for me to get over it. I’m tired of keeping it bottled up.”

 

Hunk and Lance are the first ones to get to the lounge. Shiro jumps up to help them with the trays of food and drinks that they brought with them. Trianna can see that there’s a couple of trays of cookies, water pouches and a couple of pots of tea. Allura, Coran and Pidge aren’t far behind. All three of them have their arms piled high with several blankets and pillows. Keith grabs a fluffy blanket from the pile and wraps Trianna in it and grabs a pillow to help support her back. As Trianna watches everyone get comfortable, she can’t believe the amount of support she has. Not being able to control it, a tear escapes and rolls down her cheek. 

 

Keith panics when he sees a tear roll down her cheek. “Are you ok? Do you need to leave?”

 

Trianna looks over with a smile on her face. “I’m ok, just overwhelmed, in a good way.” She grips his hand and squeezes it as if to prove she’s ok.

 

Lance takes a seat next to Trianna opposite Keith and Shiro sits on the other side of Lance. Allura and Pidge are sandwiched between Coran and Hunk on the opposite couch. Once everyone has stopped moving, Trianna takes a deep breath and starts telling them everything she remembers. 

 

“I just want to warn you all that this is going to be hard to hear. I’m going to try my best to make it through it all. After I was knocked out when Keith and I were attacked, I woke up in a small cell with my hands bound behind my back. I didn’t know where I was or how long I was out for. I’m not even sure there was anyone around. I tried yelling for someone and no one responded. I don’t know how long went by, but a sentry dragged me out of the room and to a room where Lotor was waiting. He untied my hands and tried to get me to trust him. He told me he wouldn’t have gone through so much effort for anyone that wasn’t his favourite. After I headbutted him he hit me then had the sentries bring me back to the cell where they sedated me.”

 

“After that the sentries brought me food a couple times a day and sedated me at least once a day. I lost track of time because of the sedative, but I think it was about a week before they dragged me out of that cell again. I was thrown into a different room this time…..a bedroom.” Trianna stops to take a deep breath before continuing. “Lotor tied me to the bed and ripped my clothes off. I-I don’t know how long he raped me for. But it was horrifying. I was in so much pain, I begged him to stop, but he just laughed at me.” She chokes back a sob as Keith holds her close and smoothes her hair with his hand. Lance is on the other side of her holding her hand tightly. “The sentries brought me to a different room after that. It was the same room you found me in.”

 

“The sentries brought me to that bedroom what I assume was 2 or 3 times a week after that. It was the same thing each time. Lotor kept telling me that the sooner I gave in, the sooner he would stop raping and beating me. He promised me that I would be treated like a princess. When I’d refuse, he’d beat me then rape me. Sometimes I’d be whipped or burned.” Trianna felt tears start to roll down her cheeks followed by Keith’s hand brushing them away. “Part of me wanted to believe him, to believe what he was saying. But I refused to give into him. To try and convince me he stopped sedating me. What I felt when sedated was nothing compared to what I felt after. After Lotor was done with me, I was brought to a med bay and scanned. If I had any life threatening injuries, I was put in a pod until I wasn’t in danger of dying and no longer. They also gave me pregnancy tests every time. Luckily I was never found to be pregnant.”

 

“I fell asleep each night thinking of everyone here, of you. I kept telling myself that you’d find me any day now.” Trianna says as she looks at Keith. “After what I think was a month, it was almost too much. I’m ashamed to admit that I started to doubt how much longer I could hold out. It was harder to convince myself that you all were still looking for me.”

 

“The last time I was brought to Lotor was the worst experience I’d had on that ship.” Trianna stops again as she tries to hold back more tears and fails. Keith and Lance both rub her back in comfort. “He threw me into walls and choked until I was coughing up blood. He whipped me, the louder I screamed, the harder he whipped me.” She lets out a sob as she remembers the ordeal. She can see the concern in Keith’s face when she looks to him. Nodding to say she’s ok, she continues. “He raped me multiple times and with multiple objects. H-He held a gun to my head and made me blow him. He thrusted too far and I threw up on him. In retaliation, he….” Trianna stops again to regain her composure and squeezes both Keith and Lance’s hands for support. “I don’t know how to put this delicately, but he fucked me in the ass. No prep, no lube. To try to silence my screams, he put the gun in my mouth and threatened to pull the trigger.”

 

Trianna can hear the gasps and sobs from the people in the room around her. “I was given another scan in the med bay and sent back to my room without any time in a pod. I managed to crawl to the bed and passed out. My last thoughts were of stopping fighting, of giving in. I was convinced that I was forgotten.”

 

Keith pulls her to him and holds her tight. “I never once gave up. I could never forget you.” He buries his face in her hair and cries.

 

“I know that now.” Trianna says. “My memory is vague after that but the next thing I remember after that was someone grabbing my arm. I remember being in so much pain that I just screamed, I don’t even remember what I was saying. Gradually, I was able to hear a voice talking to me. I tried to focus on it, to be able to open my eyes and see who it was. I was able to focus just long enough to see Keith in front of me before passing out again. My next memory is falling out of the healing pod at the castle.”

 

Trianna broke down a couple of times while she was talking, but she was able to make it though it all. The room is almost silent when she’s done. The only sound is people either crying quietly or trying to hold back from crying. While she was talking, she was wrapped in blankets and being held by Keith and Lance. No one in the room can believe what Trianna went through on Lotor’s ship. 

 

Allura is the first to break the silence. “I never thought someone could be so cruel.” 

 

“I do.” Shiro says. Being held prisoner by the Galra for months meant he understood exactly what Lotor and the Galra are capable of. 

 

Keith holds Trianna closer to him. “I can’t believe how strong you are. I’m not sure how you didn’t give up waiting for us.”

 

“I did think that you had given up on me a few times and almost gave up because of it.” Trianna admits. “I was willing to do almost anything to make the pain stop. But I was willing to die before I gave in to Lotor if it meant seeing you again.” 

 

“I never gave up on you.” Keith kisses the side of her head. “And I wasn’t going to let anyone else give up on you.”

 

Trianna looks to everyone else in the room. “Thank you for letting me get all this out. It means a lot to me for you to listen. I feel like this is the last step I needed to be able to move forward with my life.”

 

Everyone gets up and Trianna is pulled off the couch and into a group hug. Everyone vows to keep her safe and make sure nothing like this ever happens again. Trianna is tired after everything that’s happened today. Lance tells her to go to bed and the rest of them will clean everything up. Keith won’t let her say no and picks her up and carries her out of the room. 

 

When they get into their room, Keith finally sets her down on the bed. He lays next to her, stroking her face. “I’m proud of you for being brave enough to tell all of us what happened. I’m sorry I didn’t find you sooner.” He sits up and hangs his head. “It shouldn’t have even happened in the first place.”

 

Trianna sits up and pulls Keith’s face so that he’s looking at her. “I told you not to blame yourself. None of this is your fault. They caught both of us off guard.” She kisses him gently on the lips. “I also know you did everything you could to find me. If it had been possible to find me sooner, you would have.”

 

Keith hugs her tightly and buries his face in her hair. “I’m never letting you go again.” He whispers to her. 

 

They eventually get ready for bed and for the first time since being back at the castle, Trianna doesn’t have any nightmares. 

 

Over the next few months, Trianna is able to get back to her normal routine again. Relieved, she never thought she’d feel normal again. Well, except for the growing feeling of revenge and hatred she now feels towards Lotor. 

 


End file.
